Lemony Snippets: A Series of Fictitious Events - An Introduction

This will be a whole series of short stories, meant to get me started on a dream project. In this series i will pick up a random line from anywhere and try and spin a story around it.This is only because i am too lazy to come up with themes on my own and too shallow to write anything thought provoking and too stupid to write anything intelligent. So, now i shall go scout for a lead, until then...